Entropy Title Match: Etzlicoatl vs Alaina Sanders

Somewhere in the middle of her busy schedule of being contorted and managing (somehow) to make her boots touch the back of her head mid-Sharpshooter, Etzli presumably had a moment to reflect and try to put together a coherent retort, probably related to the fact that she'd gotten more fame, success, and money in two months of needless AFW showmanship than in four years of 'training hard' and trying to get noticed as a blue chipper luchadora. The moment went entirely wasted as she instead chose to focus on the physical reality of the situation.

"Ahhhhhh, give!" she squealed, flailing her arms wildly. "Give give give give give!"

"Wait, really?" the ref girl asked. "I mean--well, okay."

The bell ringing did not stop any of Etzli's flailing in the hold. Seriously, it was like some kind of quantum Aztec gyroscope windmill.

Alaina cranked down and.... the bell rang? She let go of the hold in disbelief and the referee held her hand high, with he amazon champion smiling but sporting a very confused look. Even as she was announced the winner, and given her title belt she wasn't sure what had just transpired. It seemed like the match was over with as quickly as it started.

Alaina held the belt high for the crowd, taking in the praise for quickly dispatching the strange, loud challenger. However, something about this just didn't feel right. The challenger was hardly on the level of talent that competed for a title, and Alaina wanted to face the biggest, nastiest women she could. The harder the opponent, the better the win, the better the title and division are.

As odd as it sounded, Alaina was less angry with the sneak attacking woman who laid at her feet than she was at the one who orchestrated the whole thing. Lukretia. Alaina climbed between the ropes and made her way up the ramp, trying to smile and be pleasant with her fans as she high fived quite a few on her way towards the back. However, once she reached backstage she wasn't going to the locker room..... she was going to do something she would likely regret. She was going straight to Lucretia's office at the arena to find out what the deal was with her first title defense!

Etzlicoatl's relief at being out of the sharpshooter was almost immediately displaced by indignation and horror.

"Wha---what are you doing, you simpleton?!" she shrieked at the ref girl as Alaina strode off.  One arm was still kneading at her lower back, while the other gesticulated in a way that didn't quite reach 'grandiose' or 'regal' and instead stopped at 'very silly'.  "Why have you stopped our sacred contest, right as I had her where I wanted her?!"

"Er...you submitted," the very puzzled ref answered.

"I did no such thing!  Explain yourself!"

"You totally did.  You were yelling 'give, give'."

There was a pause, and Etzli's eyes darted from side to side for a moment before the full force of her wrathful indignation manifested itself. "No, you fool!  I, uh, I was saying 'live, live'!  To indicate I was still liv...ing.  Yes.  How could you make such a churlish and deplorable error?!"

"You were definitely saying 'give, give'," the ref said, folding her arms.  "Like, with a hard G.  Repeatedly.  It was unmistakable."

"Well, I..." Etzli stammered for a second, then stamped her foot in a rage.  "It doesn't matter!  Because I wasn't ready!  You shouldn't have started the match before I was ready!"

"You jumped her from behind.  How could you launch a sneak attack if you weren't ready?"

"Cease your sneaky, underhanded mind-meld!" the Sanguine Serpent shrieked, now borderline hysterical with rage.  "I will not tolerate this chicanerous insubordination!  I'll have you know I, uh, I didn't have enough time to prepare for the match!"

The ref stared dubiously.

"Also, I pulled my hamstring during training!  And I had to fly economy class, so I didn't get any sleep!  And there was a wardrobe malfunction causing me to have to get new gear at the last minute!  And she was greasing, and taking illegal testosterone supplements!  I only just recovered from the dengue fever!  The local cuisine around here keeps giving me stomach cramps and I can't be expected to perform under those conditions!  My usual training partner joined the cartels and I didn't get to train!  There was too much pressure because the President herself was expecting me to win the title and the stagehands gave me like eighteen xanax!  I think I'm getting plantar fasciitis or something so I didn't want to risk doing any of my specialty moves off the top!  And, and I was only fighting at 70% of my power anyway, because to use my true power would be too dangerous for anybody in the ring with me!  You're lucky I didn't smash you into paste when we collided, and maybe I should have because THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY HOUR OF ASCENSION SO THAT MATCH DIDN'T COUNT."

All across Brazil, mixed martial artists were watching the broadcast and frantically writing down all of these excuses so they'd have a decent stockpile in the event that they lost a fight in the near future.

Either way, the ref girl, bless her, was unfazed despite all the shenanigans she'd had to endure.  "Ms. Etzli, look, you lost the match.  There's not really anything I can do about it, just go back to the locker room and--"

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"  Oh, there it was.  It always came back to tantrums, eventually.  "Hour of ascension, I said!  You can't do this to me, I'm the chosen archon of--HEY!  UNHAND ME, YOU SYCOPHANTS!!!"  A security team had at last arrived, used to this kind of thing by now, and hoisted Etzlicoatl like a temperamental child, carrying her out of the ring.  "I'LL GET YOU ALL FOR THIS!  AHHH!  I HATE YOU SO MUCH--"

The screeching echoes of "NO NO NO NO NO" continued all the way up the ramp, mercifully fading at last, and the arena was silent once again.

Alaina had paused to watch the madness unfold backstage on TV. She didn't just face someone who didn't deserve a title shot, she was up against a whiney, annoying child! Etzlicoatl displayed the maturity of a five year old as she had to be dragged out of the ring as she had her little temper tantrum.

It only solidified Alaina's resolve to go talk to Lukretia right away. Setting up matches like this is detrimental to the division, makes the title look bad, and takes away from any sort of legitimacy being the champion of such a division had. Most of all, Alaina figured the fans in the seats deserved to see a better match than what had just unfolded.

Winner by submission: "Amazon" Alaina Sanders, retains title.