Fixation (Cardia vs. Lukretia aftermath)

Cardia quickly retrieved Hilde's glasses and handed them to her, rubbing her hair softly, "No... it was my fault... I always wanted to pleasure her in the way she pleasures me... for it to be my gift to her... to thank her. And... I don't know, maybe I didn't do it well enough... here... where she was going to give me so much... and then we make her angry... it... the entire thing didn't work. Having it thrown in my face like that was even worse... And then you had to... I'm so sorry. It's not your fault. I should've done better..." She squeezed Hilde tightly.

"Listen," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "I... I really... I don't know... I really, really like Lukretia... I want to be near her every day... But... at the same time, I'm afraid of her. I never feel safe around her, even when she is... giving me pleasure." She caressed Hilde, "No matter how much I want to be near Lukretia... I don't want to have to lose you to do that." She bit her lip, "I don't know... I'm... I think I am going to keep paying rent on my old apartment. Even if I live here. It'll make the budget tight... but it'll give you or me or us a place to hide... if... something happens. Is... is that okay?"

Hilde sniffed and took her glasses. "D-d-danke." She whispered. "It wasn't your fault." She said swallowing hard to try and collect herself. "Cardia..." She whispered. "I've seen lots of girls come with Lukretia like you have... I... know how Lukretia can be... and they've all been ruined." She exhaled deeply. "I don't want that to happen to you... and I hoped that maybe I could at least give you something you would look back fondly at when you leave." She closed her eyes and clung to Cardia. "You're very nice and very sweet, not to mention beautiful... you don't deserve to have Lukretia do the things she does to you." She said.

"She was punishing me for getting close to you, it's not my place." She continued. "Doing the things to you..." She stumbled over the words and blushed. "T-that I wanted to do..." She nestled her head into Cardia. "Why would you not want to loose me..." She questioned. "I'm nobody... and we barely even know each other." She hugged Cardia. "T-though we're already so close..." She whispered the last part.

"I can't hide from Lukretia... She is scary but no matter what she does I won't leave her side.... but maybe it is a good idea for you... you don't need to be shackled to her like I am."

Cardia held Hilde tighter, stroking her hair comfortingly, "Shh... Hilde, you've been so sweet and kind to me. You've been... the nicest person I've met since I moved out here to AFW." She planted a kiss on Hilde's forehead, "I... I don't want to lose you. Y-you don't get a chance to meet people as nice as you often."

She sighed, "You don't deserve what Lukretia does to you. I... I want what she does to me." She blew softly on Hilde's lip. "I want to be close to her... to see what I can do to have her strength." She pulled Hilde's face so the two were eye to eye... "But... I'm still a big girl. I... I know... deep down... this entire thing is..." She trailed off, unable to put her thoughts into words. "I don't know. Healthy?..." She rested her head on Hilde's shoulder once more, "But more than anything... I want to do those things... with you that you wanted."

She took a deep breath, "Hilde... I don't expect affection from Lukretia... I don't even think I want it. I... I want what she gives me... usually. Not always. But... it feels right... in a dirty way. I want... more." She rubbed Hilde's back softly, "B-but... that's not the point. What she... what she offers isn't affection. And... and if you are with her in hopes that she'll show you sisterly affection..." She shook her head... "You d-deserve better than that."

Hilde's eyes widened as Cardia soothed her. "Lukretia is so cruel to everyone. If there wasn't someone there to offset that... I.. I don't know how well she would do for herself." Hilde liked to think that without her doting on Lukretia, Lukretia's temper might drive everyone away.

"Thank you though..." She said smiling weakly. "You say such nice things, but you have been too kind to me as well." She whispered. She stood up suddenly. "We need to get going." She said dabbing her face with a hankerchief she produced from her pocket. Adjusting her glasses she managed to retain the professional look that she had when Cardia first saw her. "I... want what she does to me too." She said with a hint of shame in her voice. "Those words I spoke... I meant them." She lowered her head and began to walk out of the room.

"It is... some kind of sisterly affection." She murmured. "It's all I have to hope that it is." Her tone was resigned and she took Cardia's hand and held it tightly as she began to walk out of the house.

Cardia held Hilde's hand tightly between both of her own, "H-Hilde... I know we're... well, let's just say it. We're both raging masochists," She smiled, "B-but... maybe... we could try to b-break ourselves of this addiction to Lukretia." She whispered the words as though she were ashamed to say them, "I.... if things get worse, that is. The... the AFW is full of beautiful... strong women. And... uh... well," she looked away, blushing, "Who... uh... who better to fulfill your needs than someone who knows pr-precisely h-h-how you want it?" She offered a sheepish grin, masking her bright red face.

Hilde stopped and looked at Cardia with wide eyes. She smiled suddenly and leaned in and pecked Cardia on the cheek. "I-I would love to continue..." She said. "With you..." She then turned away slightly ashamed. "But even if I was never 'with' Lukretia again, she's still my little sister and that's a bond I can't and won't break. "I hope you can understand that." She said looking up at Cardia with pleading eyes.

Cardia embraced Hilde, "I understand." Leaning in, she whispered, "She doesn't deserve you," before kissing Hilde on the cheek. "I suppose we should go..."

Hilde smiled and embraced Cardia. She then led Cardia through the house and just before the exit she let go of Cardia's hand. She walked to the car and opened the door. "Ms. Waters." She said nodding politely, waiting for Cardia to enter the car. When she did she would shut it and watch as the car pulled away.

Lukretia looked at Cardia as she entered. She was sitting in a very relaxed position with a glass of wine in her hand. She eyes Cardia and smiled slyly. "Vat good timing, meine frau." She said. "I vas just about to go get you."

Cardia gave Hilde a polite nod and waved softly goodbye to her as she entered the car.

In the car, Cardia remained silent, clasping her hands against her stomach, staring off at nothing in particular. After a few seconds of silence, Cardia would ask, "So... how was the house?" She asked, only interested in the answer as far as trying to guess how badly Lukretia would talk down the place.

Cardia had guessed accurately as she turned her attention to Cardia. "For vat is basically an apartment, it is barely adequate." She began. "In truth it is a rundown piece of junk zat should probably just be condemned." She sighed. "However, Ms. Von Creuzfeldt has never been very good at finding suitable homes und as I need ze home now rather zan later, as vell as finding an home vith a pool haus for you in sucha short time..." She narrowed hereyes slightly, not at her previous statement but just to get an idea of how Cardia was reacting to her words. "Und vat did you think of it, meine frau?" She said taking a sip from her wine glass.

She then patted the seat next to Cardia. "Come over here." She said in a soft tone. "After you answer I vant you to tell me vat you think of Ms. Von Creuzfeldt." She smiled. "Und you had better be honest."