Boys and Stuff

In Talia's mind, it was entirely her fault. It was one of the reasons she had all but given up wrestling for now. Everything she did always made things worse. And she made everyone around her do bad things as well that they normally wouldn't have. She had gotten over some of that thanks to the Canada trip, but she still felt very responsible for everything that had happened. Cassie's reluctance to discuss what was wrong visibly made Talia frown.

It must have been really bad. She always assumed Cassie wanted to talk about these things. Just like how she wanted Talia to talk to her. Talking was suppose to make things better. And Cassie really didn't want to.

Talia bit her lip. Talking about Aurora any further seemed a waste of time, especially when Cassie was more in need at that moment. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asked with a sympathetic look in return. She kinda wanted to push the topic, but was afraid of upsetting Cassie.

Cassie lowered her head dejectedly. She was sure. There was no way to tell the story that wouldn't dampen Talia's mood even more, and there was no avoiding the shame of what she did. But maybe it was a story that Talia needed to hear...

"Mamouru was at Taylor's party the other day," she said, like the words weighed a thousand pounds. "And we..."

Talia watched Cassie visibly show pain. She wanted to support her friend in the same way she had been. Cassie's words trailed off and she realized she needed to do something. Without even knowing what exactly had happened, Talia got to her feet and sat beside Cassie. She reached her arms around Cassie and hugged her tightly. It didnt matter whether Cassie felt guilty about kissing, fighting, doing, or murdering Mamouru. Hopefully a good hug could cure anything. "It'll be okay Cassie..."

Cassie leaned against Talia's shoulder and accepted her hug. She didn't think anything of it. It wasn't her nature to refuse hugs.

She closed her eyes and felt like crying, but her eyes remained dry. She drew an uneasy breath, and in a thin, fragile voice said "I don't know how to make the feelings go away." She wilted, her head drooping until it rested on Talia's shoulder. "I don't want him anymore. I don't want to feel the way I do. But when he... does things with other girls, I still feel things, and I hate it. I just want to forget all about him."

Talia squeezed Cassie tighter as she spoke about Mamouru. It was almost a year ago that she beat him up with a steel pipe. She didn't feel guilty about it then and she didn't feel guilty about it now. What she did feel guilty about, though, was how both she and her sister contributed to Cassie's problem. She felt like it all revolved around her. "I'm sorry..." She whispered vaguely. "But..."

"We need to help you forget him. We should go out to a club...or something...meet someone to help you forget all about Mamouru. You deserve better than him...he has no right to hurt you like that..." Talia shifted in her chair to lightly rock back and forth. "Or we can just do something else...anything else to help you forget..." She wasn't sure what to even suggest. "I'm sorry..." she repeated. She didn't know how to make Cassie feel better when she may had contributed to it. She squeezed Cassie even tighter.

"He..." Cassie sat upright as she tried to muster the strength to speak. "He told me that I made him want to be a better man." The words had the same weight then as they did when Mamouru himself had spoken them, and a lethality that only the truth could wield.

She let her head loll back against the back of her seat. "He told me he was trying to be better. He told me I made him happy," she said, like a heavy, resigned sigh. "And I know he was telling the truth, because I... made him."

She put a palm to her face. "I just wanted to do what I loved and be nice and have people be nice to me, and find a nice boy and be happy. I don't even know what any of those are anymore, I just know it all hurts."

Talia felt helpless for her friend. She had her own reservations about both Higurashi twins. One led her on, the other did Aurora just to get back at her. It seemed like they were destined to have girl problems no matter who they were involved with. Talia just wanted to be rid of them for good and move on with her life.

But she wasn't Cassie.

Cassie always saw the good in everyone, even when nobody else did. Cassie offered her help even after everything she had done to her beforehand. Only a year before, they had been determined to destroy one another. Now they were here.

"Do you love him?"

Cassie laughed out loud, a single, ironic "ha". She imagined that Talia wasn't the only person to want to ask her that question, but she was certainly the only one to ever ask it.

She shook her head. She lifted a hand, thought to say something but came up with nothing. She let her hand drop back to her lap and kept shaking her head, and then shrugged.

"I love lots of people," she said. "In different ways. I guess... sure, I love him. But... not like that. I don't want to like that. I just want to be able to see him do the things he does and not feel the way that I do. And... I hate the fact that I'm talking about Mamouru right now instead of Shinobu."

Talia didn't nod or budge when Cassie explained what manner she considered Mamouru in her life. She wasn't entirely convinced. At least to Talia, what Cassie described was love. There were people in Talia's life that she'd accept no matter what they did. But she'd only ever feel bad the way Cassie did if she loved them. To her, she sounded like she loved Mamouru but wanted to love someone else. She didn't know who Shinobu was. But it kinda didn't matter.

"Have you told him how much you care?"

Cassie's face hardened, her green eyes became cold. She was instantly on the defensive.

"Yes, I told him exactly how much I care," she said, her tone making it clear that that wasn't much. "Mamouru and I... There is no Mamouru and I. We're not anything. He's just a guy, and he likes to manipulate women and sleep with everybody. I don't like him. If he was more like Johnny, then maybe it would be different. If only everyone was more like Johnny..." She sighed, and then very deliberately moved on.

"Shinobu is Johnny's friend. He's an actor. He's The Phantom Detective..." She pulled out her phone and started rapidly typing. "I gave him my number. He said he'd take me to one of his Hollywood-y parties. He's... well," she turned her phone around to show Talia a picture of him. "Hot."